When I was a teenager, I acted with little thought to what the effects of those actions would be. My early twenties were much the same, with more consideration of others as the years went on.

Now that I am knocking on thirty, I’m at a point where I consider all the ramifications of my decisions, particularly the big ones like work and relationships. I’m afraid I’ve slid too far toward this end of things, though, as all of these perspectives is causing paralysis by analysis. Continue reading “A Ship in the Night” →

In Dominican culture, there is a concept called educedo. Being educado literally translates to being educated, but in its actual usage translates to something closer to being civilized. Dominicans believe that someone who is educedo is social, intelligent, warm, courteous, and mannered. To be deemed mal educedo is a great offense (and one often lobbed at my by my parents when I interrupted them in conversation with another adult or opened the refrigerator in a house that wasn’t mine.

As an adult, I’ve come to recognize the term educedo as being closer to being civilized. I have a contentious relationship with the idea of being civilized, as it is not just a perforative act  of following social norms but also a conforming to the expectations around me despite how I may feel. I see being civilized as both a state of existence and an active signaling from the space around me. I am being civilized in the same way I am being assaulted. It is something done to me.  Continue reading “Being Civilized” →

I’ve worked at enough places for enough time to have seen people exit under lots of circumstances. I’ve seen people who have been at the organization for years leave to live in a new city. I’ve seen people only last a few months before they voluntarily see their way out. This flotsam and jetsam is a natural part of the work experience.

Every time someone that I’m close to leaves the organization, I experience a small but noticeable sense of loss. In some ways it feels personal, like they are rejecting me or my choice to be there. I recognize intellectually that I have nothing to do with people’s decision to stay or go, but I still emotionally feel the loss.  Continue reading “The Tiny Death of a Colleague’s Exit” →

Mixed Martial Arts is now more popular than ever. The UFC was just sold for $4 Billion, it has superstars like Ronda Rousey that have gone mainstream, and it is now legal in every state in the country.

Yet most people I know don’t care about it. I think I know why.  Continue reading “Why I Love Mixed Martial Arts and Most Other People Don’t” →

I love Bernie. I voted for him in the primary.

I met Hillary Clinton when she was running for New York State Senator. I’ve been a fan ever since and intend to vote for her in November.

Given that, I don’t think I’ll ever love a politician as much as Barack Obama.  Continue reading “Barack Obama will always be my President” →

Yesterday I went to Trader Joes in the middle of the day to grab some food for the week. I was wearing a blue polo shirt with no logo, khaki pants and brown shoes. I had on my Pebble Time and Bose QuietComfort 25 headphones. All of these facts will be relevant to the rest of the story. Continue reading “A Case of Mistaken Identity” →

The Director of Campus ministry at my college had a quote on her office wall:

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

It was a thought-provoking quote, if for nothing else to nudge me toward empathy for as long as I remembered it.

After working on a team with HR professionals, in a role where I learn privileged information about my colleagues and the battles most don’t know anything about, this quote has a much deeper meaning.

I am inspired by the strength that my colleagues and their ability to do their jobs considering everything that is happening in their lives.

 

This Sunday, as most Sundays before I start a workweek, I turn inward. My nature is to live in the moment. I have a tendency to lose track of time. This tendency has caused me to feel fully present when I’m with people and not stress about what could happen in the future, but has also bitten me in the ass. Since I’m not predisposed to worry about what can happen next, I deal with avoidable problems. Continue reading “Sunday Mental Preparations” →

I grew up in two Brooklyn communities: Williamsburg and Bushwick. These communities, especially the former, are hallmark examples of gentrification. In the 70s and 80s they were poor ethnic parts of the city with cheap rents and high crime. As the gentrification story goes, alternative communities made of of artists and similar folks moved in. Their presence caused new business to crop up, which attracted more people, which lowered crime, which attracted more people, which raised rents, which drove out many of the ethnic residents who could no longer afford to live there.  Continue reading “Can I Gentrify my own Community?” →

1. What time is it?
2. What day is it?
3. What does my day look like?
4. Should I pee or check Facebook first?
5. Why do I always pick Facebook?
6. What’s happening on Twitter?
7. How many followers do I have?
8. How do I get more followers?
9. What’s happening on Reddit?
10. Why did it take me so long to pee?
11. Should I shave after I brush my teeth?
12. Am I exercising today?
13. Do I have clean exercise clothes?
14. What’s the weather like?
15. If I’m going to exercise, what should I eat before I go?
16. When should I buy new running shoes?
17. How long will the weather stay warm?
18. Am I feeling sluggish because it’s warm or because I’m getting out of shape?
19. I have to shower, but do I have enough time to iron my clothes for work?
20. How formally should I dress for work?
21. What am I doing after work?
22. How much time do I have left before I’m going to be late?
23. Do I have time to make breakfast or should I buy it out?
24. What are people going to say about what I’m wearing today?
25. Am I leaving with enough time to get to work?
26. Should I squeeze on this full train or wait for the next one?
27. Should I take off my bookbag?
28. Should I take the open seat?
29. Should I listen to a podcast or audiobook?
30. How many stops do I have left?
31. Who on the train could I see myself with?
32. Is that a shallow question?
33. If the train was stuck in the tunnel and there was a nuke that took out everyone except us, who would I try and get with?
34. What do these people think about me?
35. Do I have enough time to get a nice breakfast or do I have to grab something and dash?
36. Should I go healthy or indulge?
37. How stressful is my day?
38. If I get an indulgent breakfast, am I willing to get a salad for lunch?
39. What should I eat for lunch?
40. What will this day bring me?

Continue reading “40 Questions I ask Myself on an Average Morning” →